Blessed Are the Single Ladies

Just as Jesus never said,
"blessed are you when you're single",
he never says "blessed are the marrieds."

Yet, the church - in word and action - behaves as if he did.

You are here because:

You preach the word of God and desire to include single women in your teaching
You are a single woman looking to articulate your frustrations and find solidarity in the church
You want to help your pastor become an ally for single women in your church
Just wanting to learn!

What you will find here:

Definitions of singleness and a marriage normativity
First person accounts of women hurt and offended by harmful preaching
A unique evaluation process to gauge the values of marriage normativity in your church
Statistics on the importance of single women
Theological reasons for preaching an inclusive view of single women
The article which started it all

Let’s start a conversation – use the Contact Form or find me on Instagram or Substack

CAUTIONARY NOTE:

I am an ordained pastor, and I think my colleagues in the pulpit and pastorate can and should do better. Scripture repeatedly warns that we will be judged by what we teach, more so than what we say and how we make others feel. A preacher should not be judged as someone who intentionally harms single women based on one sermon (unless of course there is intentionality for shaming women—that’s a whole other thing!) The use of sermon illustrations, music, liturgies, and Biblical interpretation and imagery which stereotypes and discriminates against single people—in all the ways they are single—has no place in God’s church. I recognize that there is a time and place to speak on marriage, to pray for healthy partnerships, provide support for the unsingles in a congregation, and hold accountable those who break marriage covenants. This is not the same thing as repeatedly defending a social construct which promotes or defends marriage as “normal” or expected. A large portion of the congregation cannot find meaning or attachment in such messaging.

“Single” is a wide ocean which affects all genders, sexes, sexualities, races, population density, housing and income, and so much more. Even in narrowing my work to single women—as defined as unpartnered, unmarried, divorced, separated, widowed, and attending church without spouse or partner because of irreligious beliefs or cognitive failure—we are still swimming in the sea. I have limited my work to the context I experience (personally and professionally): white, middle-class, North American Protestant, cisgender, straight women. I acknowledge that this restriction is only one snapshot of a much wider field. It is my sincere prayer that someday this work is expanded to other parts of this ocean so all women will hear their worth proclaimed from the pulpit.

Lastly, this work is my own (check out that copyright!) Though both agree with me and are working to do better, my work with BATSL is not a reflection of the congregation I serve or the denomination in which I hold ordained office. When work is not my own, I give every effort to attribute the author.